I skipped work to stalk him.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
