did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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