Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
