Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
