Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
