The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
