I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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