Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
There are leaves in my underwear?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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