can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She's the barista slut.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
