I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
