i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
