sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
