she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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