i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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