I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
