I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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