There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
