Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
