Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
