hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We need to get me chipped asap
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
