A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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