i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
someone owes me an orgasm
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
bring money and cleavage
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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