whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
