Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
