You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
