Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
