Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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