She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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