turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
