haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
