rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
this hospital has no fireball
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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