I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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