what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
