Cold hands, warm shart.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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