I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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