I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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