I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
