Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
