I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
