Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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