I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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