i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
