Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize