Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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