Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
