I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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