And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
