You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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