So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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