could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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