i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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