things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
