I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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