Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
