The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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