I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
