i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize