is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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